“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t noh-body happy!” - Southern Sayin’

Story Time!

We recently had our good friend Pastor Ben Diaz as a guest on our Podcast “More Joy” and he totally brought our understanding to a new level! Later, as we sat around our family table with him discussing his thoughts further, he said something that astounded us:

”A well disciplined and healthy mind can return to joy in 90 seconds.”

Drop. The. Mic. 

What is this magic?

So I looked into it and this is what I found: The 90 Second Rule:

“Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist from Harvard University, explains that when we react to something in our environment, a 90-second chemical process occurs in our bodies. After this time, any remaining emotional response is a choice to stay in that emotional cycle.”

Did you catch that? After 90 seconds, any remaining negative emotion is our choice! That’s powerful!

Applied in Real Life

Imagine this: You hear about the fruit of the spirit already being part of your New Nature in Christ Jesus. It’s already yours. You can walk in it any time you choose. So, you want to be that joyful mother of children you read about in Scripture and you decide to start working on being more joyful as you raise your children and help your husband.

You’re doing great until something happens. 

• Your child accidentally kicks your other child in the eye and it turns into an alllllmost trip to the ER.

• All this while you’re getting ready to go record your new podcast episode about JOY in parenting. You have to look good and be in the right headspace. 

So… You either go in the corner and cry as the stress of it all washes over you. (Been there done that!)  OR

You feel the “are you ok?????” alarm, the “no way this just happened right now” frustration, and the “hey big kid who did the damage, it’s ok, don’t feel guilty, it was an accident” emotions. And then, within 90 seconds you can RETURN TO JOY!!

Why is this story so detailed? Because, my friend, this literally just happened to me! 

This was the very first time I felt powerful in the midst of a chaotic situation. In the past, I’ve kept my cool and handled “it” but under the surface it was still a rolling boil until I could tell Brad allllll about it that night, complete with hand gestures, pacing and some frustrated Spanish language mixed in there. Ha! But this time? Nope. I remembered “I can return to joy in 90 seconds.” What a liberating experience!

I walked out of my house towards my car with my head healed high. Then from my car to the studio with pep in my step.

Next day? I kid you not. There was chaos over my lack of preparation to have breakfast foods in the house and I lost all my joy. You read it right. I let Celina beat Celina up about this oversight all the way to the grocery store with a bunch of hungry kids back at home just waiting for mom to come back and feed everyone. “Now we’re behind schedule! I should’ve had everything ready… and I thought I was organized? Ha!” Sad to say we all paid for my lack of joy all morning.

Then one of my kids sang “I’ve got the joy down in my heart” to me. See, I know myself and I know I have to practice this new skill. So I empowered my kids to sing this song to me anytime they noticed I wasn’t bouncing back. 

The moment I heard this song I realized “I let this little thing steal my joy and now everyone’s paying for it! Let me get that joy back!” Was it easy? No. Did I do it smoothly? No. It was more like water skiing for the first time: weaving wildly with waves whipping. But I did it! And the atmosphere in our home instantly changed. 

C’mon Mama! C’mon Dad! Yes Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie, Uncle, You can do this! And it’s sooooo worth it!

Why? Because! The JOY of the Lord is our strength! We can’t do this without it! Here… look at this: 

“Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 KJV

Did you know the context of this verse is that the Israelites had just realized how badly they messed up? They were weeping because of it. And yet, this was God’s response to them!! Oh the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God! 

And… if you look it up in the original, it says the joy of the Lord is our STRONGHOLD - referencing a stronghold in our mind, that default setting we can revert back to!

Whew! I’m all stirred up. I hope you are too! Commit yourself today to go after this much needed strength today.

Many blessings!

Other resources to help you return to joy:

More Scriptures About Joy

• “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” https://www.bible.com/bible/59/GAL.5.ESV

• “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 ESV 

• If you are happy in life, you will be healthy. But if you are sad and upset , your body will be weak. Proverbs 17:22 (EASY)

Conclusion:

We keep learning and growing, don’t we? And we go from glory to glory! Make JOY your stronghold, the emotion you turn to as a default, so it can strengthen you as you enjoy being a spouse and parent. 

Have you been looking for something that will help you or a loved one learn more about joyful parenting?  Check out our Parenting Toolbox! A perfect match if you’re wanting clear, easy biblical concepts and action steps. 

Until next time!

Bendiciones! Blessings! Ciao!